"I just want my weenie back"

Granted, that's obvious titillation on my part... call it gratuitous headlining, if you will.

But losing your 10-foot wiener is no laughing matter.

I don't know which is more bizarre, the concept of a giant smiling wiener, or eating at a place that has one...

Regardless, if you're in South Carolina, please be on the lookout for an incredibly large...

I'm sorry. I just can't type this with a straight face.

Only in America...